Another pregnancy test - wasted

If I were to be honest with myself, I'd have to admit that I'm starting to get angry now.

We have been trying to conceive our second child for 16 months now. Endless waiting, pregnancy tests, frustration, sadness, and watching our beloved son getting older and older without a sibling. At this stage James will be at least 3 years old by the time bub number 2 arrives - if he or she ever does.

Why can't we seem to get pregnant? God don't you want us to have more kids? Is James to be an only child? With no-one to play with? How can this be? How many more months am I to sit crying and frustrated in the bathroom starting at yet another single red line pregnancy test?

Mentioning this to anyone always seems to bring on the advice "just stop trying and relax and it will happen". Those people usually never had to wait over a year to conceive. They don't understand that try as hard as you can it's nigh on impossible to relax and pretend you dont want to get pregnant this month. That each month gets you more stressed which of course doesn't help but is inevitable.

Adoption takes 5-7 years. Fostering can leave you heartbroken when the child you have come to love returns home. We have fostered teenagers before and it was hard but awesome. I want to foster again but how can I open myself up to the heartache?

I want a second chance at breastfeeding. It didn't work with James and I've always been sad about that. I want a chance to see James play with a brother or sister. I want to make baby clothes and dress MY child in them rather than everybody elses. I want a chance to have a vaginal birth rather than a c-section.

Yes, it's testing day and I'm not pregnant.

Why does God let bad things happen?

Why is it that you seem to have the best prayer times at 4am? I'm lying here awake with the presence of God so full and surrounding me and all I can do is pray. With tears tumbling down my face I thank Him for all the incredible blessings I have received in my life. I wonder anew at why I have been given much.

 While talking with a dear friend last night about different struggles and hardships we are facing she mentions "if everything was easy where would faith come in?" It makes me ponder: if I could provide for myself and ensure that life never handed me trials, what need would I have for God? Yet it's in the midst of these trials, painful times, temptations and struggles that God is able to show His awesome power and love. 


Does he wish for us to go through these times? No - absolutely not! Think of the life He created us for - life in Eden - life of joy, no pain, no suffering - life spent in perfect harmony with Him, experiencing nothing bad. This is what He desires for us. So why does a good God allow bad things to happen? Why is this world full of pain, suffering, terrorist attacks, murder? Because He loved us enough to give us a choice. 

Who would want a husband that had no choice but to love them? Is that true love? Who would want to know that the only reason your child loved you, wanted to spend time with you, wanted to thank you; the only reason they did these things is because you forced them? God didn't want robots - He wanted real relationships. He wanted His creation to desire to know Him and love Him by their own choice. Because of this choice, we are able to choose good or bad which has let sin into the world.


Bad things happen because people happen. 


Yet amongst all this, God is faithful. He cries when we cry, He hurts when we hurt, He desires to pull us away from all suffering and protect us as a child in the womb. This is not what He intended us for. He can take terrible situations such as the loss of our baby Jessie in the womb, and bring something good of it. We would never have built our house, gone to Cambodia, got nicks job, made the friends we have, if we had not lost Jessie. Did God want us to experience the pain of losing a child? No, but He is able to work all things to the good for those who love Him. He made good come of a terrible situation. 

Yes, amongst the many hardships and trials life presents us I still praise Him. I will thank Him for the financial struggles, sickness, and pain because although I know He doesn't desire me to face them, I know He is a faithful God and will see me through these times. He desires to have real relationship with us. He created us with a plan and purpose for our lives and loves us more than we can fathom. However because of sin - our choice to do bad things - we are separated from Him and can not know Him intimately as He desires. Yet He didn't leave things this way - He sent His Son to take the punishment of our sins / wrong doings. We are able to know Him deeply because when we accept what Jesus has done for us - we receive His clean and pure life in place of ours. It is not enough just to know this - He has given it as a gift. We need to receive it. 


He will not force Himself on us - it's our choice. So what will you do with it? 

You have to make a decision one way or another - it is impossible to sit on the fence. Either you accept what God has done for you and live your life knowing His amazing presence and having a real true relationship with Him, or you turn away from Him and are forever separated - yes hell is a real place. Ask Him into your life, He desires to know you. Speak to Him - just as you would do to a friend - this is called prayer. Say something like this: 

God thank you for sending Jesus to take the punishment for all the things I've done wrong. I'm sorry for what I've done and ask you to forgive me. Please come into my life and show me you are real. I want to know you in a real way. Amen (another word meaning "I agree"). 

If you have decided to do this - please contact me and I would love to hear from you and help you find out what is next - what now?

An organised Mum

My mum said something inspirational to me today.

Remember – your house and James are your business – this is your job that God has blessed you with!

My parents with James

I don't know about you but I struggle with housework. I am not the most organised person in the world. So when it comes to making sure I am organised enough to keep my house running smoothly I find myself a bit lost in the jungle of clothes, dishes, toys and clutter.

This statement that my mum made has inspired me to take a different look at the way I think about things. I don't have a full-time job. I am a stay-at-home mum to my darling son James. What if I started organising my days as I would if I was working? If I was being paid to look after my house and my son I would put more effort into it and make sure things got done.

I have made myself a "Daily Do's" checklist of chores to do each day. These are the things that are done every day.

Daily Do's 

Prayer and Bible 

Showered and Dressed 

Load of washing 

Breakfast 

Get meat out for dinner

Make beds 

Tidy bedrooms 

Hang out washing 

Exercise: walk, dancing with James, swimming 

Lunch 

Weekly do's 

Prepare dinner 

Dinner 

Dishes and kitchen tidy 

5 minute clean up with James 

Story's and songs 

James' bedtime 

Sweep house

  

I have also made myself a "Weekly Do's" checklist of chores that need to be done on certain days. I have split the housework up between the 5 working days in order that we can relax and enjoy family time on the weekends when Daddy's home.

Weekly Do's 

Monday

Vacuum

Clean En-suite

Change beds

Write grocery list

Water plants

Master bed, James' windows

Tuesday

Mop floors

Clean laundry

Sweep garage and front porch

Groceries

Organise sewing room

Sewing/guest room windows

Wednesday

Vacuum

Clean out fridge

Clean out car/vacuum

Blog

Water plants

Theatre/kitchen windows

Thursday

Wipe kitchen cupboards

Clean out pantry

Clean oven/stove top

Cut James' nails

Organise bookshelf

Lounge/dining windows

Friday

Vacuum

Clean guest bathroom

Iron

Baking

Water plants

Laundry/bathroom windows

I leave you with one last quote from my smart mother:

Tidy House = Tidy Mind

So here's hoping this works! I'll let you know....

 

The 5 Minute Dress!

I've done it. I've finally conquered my fear of sewing with knit fabric! Once I found out some great tips I discovered I really didn't have anything to be afraid of. So without further ado...

This is the most amazingly easy dress ever. I swear. I am certain that once I make others in different fabric and colours that they are going to be my summer uniform. That's how in love I am!

This is yet another of my Pinterest finds. Katy at Sweet Verbena is amazing - you should definitely check out her blog for more tutorials. Here is the tutorial for this dress.

This tutorial includes only 3 lines of straight stitching (well, sewing a straight line with a zigzag stitch anyway). No hemming. No over-locking. No patterns required. Just two pieces (or one folded over piece) of knit fabric. It's just that easy!

Here are my handy tips:

• Make sure you use a stretch needle. You are going to be working with knit fabric so you need to have a needle that is sharp and will allow for this sort of fabric with a lot of stretch in it.
• Use a zigzag stitch. It will allow your fabric to stretch and move as knit fabric normally would.
• Allow the fabric to feed itself through the machine. Don't pull it through otherwise it will bunch.
• Make sure when you measure how wide you want your dress that you add in a bit of extra length to account for... um... female body parts (breasts for those of you that need the hint). If you just measure the width of your shoulders and have rather large... uh... female body parts... then you will create a dress that will stretch over this area. Those of us know have these larger parts know that this makes them look even bigger...
• WEAR WITH A BELT!! If you don't you will end up with a Homer Simpson style Mu-mu. Not very flattering...

Have fun!!

Grief

I have experienced death twice this year.

A dear friend of mine, Russell, passed away due to complications from a stomach virus which affected his heart at the age of 27 years old in April this year.

Friends of ours gave birth to their precious first child, a beautiful daughter, and she passed away at 6 days old - today - father's day.

I know death is a hard thing to face, especially of people so young. I know both of these special people will be with our Father in heaven. I know they are now free of pain, sadness and fear. All these things I know.

Yet it is still a very hard thing to accept. I don't understand why I am struggling to accept these sad circumstances. I guess it is all head knowledge and it is having a hard time connecting with my heart. I can't get my mind around the fact that I will never see Russell's smiling face again or catch up with him next time we are in our home town. I can't understand that he just doesn't exist any more.

I seek God for answers. I know that somehow this will all work out for His glory. But I don't understand it.

How do you comfort those who grieve? What words can you say to the fiancé left behind and the parents whose hearts are broken. All the things that are on my heart seem so cliché.

"I'm praying for you"
"They are in a better place"
"I'm so sorry for your loss"

None of it seems enough. And that's because it isn't. It can't change the fact that they have a reason to grieve.

The only thing I can do is be there. Be there when they struggle to accept it themselves. Be there for a shoulder to cry on. Be there to just listen. Be there to understand that it will take time to get up and walk steadily again. Just be there. As cliché as that is.

My heart has broken this year. I'm learning to deal with that.

Baby Beanie Hat Tutorial

A friend of ours gave birth a few weeks prematurely recently to a beautiful 4lb 9oz baby girl. I have a feeling her surprise early arrival (she is doing well though) will mean that she won't be able to fit many of the baby clothes her parents have prepared for her and so decided to make her a little hat for starters and perhaps this will be joined tomorrow by a matching baby outfit... depends on how my little munchkin is tomorrow :)

Supplies:
scissors, thread, sewing machine
approx 40cm x 30cm of stretch cotton knit fabric - eg t-shirt fabric

I considered doing a refashion of an old t-shirt for this as I am currently on a re-fashion high but I didn't have anything girly or pink enough (go figure!).

To create a template either model it off a baby hat you already have or use a saucer to trace a semi circle and then add about 4 inches of straight fabric at the bottom as you will be turning it under. Place it on your fabric making sure that the fabric is able to be stretched sideways rather than up and down. This is important - it will help your hat stretch to fit bub's head. When your template is placed as it is in the picture your fabric with stretch left to right. Cut out 2.

Now you have your two pieces....

Place them right sides together lining up all edges.

Sew around the edge with a 1/4' seam leaving the bottom straight edge open.

At this point if you like you could overlock your seam. I don't really deem this necessary on this project as you are working with knit fabric and it won't fray. Fold up the open edge to the mark as indicated in the pattern.

Sew around where you folded your straight edge up to. This will keep it in place. NOTE: This is not the bottom of your hat but rather about half way up where your previous edge now has been folded up to.

Turn inside out. You can see where my stitching from the previous step is part way up the hat.

Fold you bottom edge up to the sewn line making sure to fold towards the outside of the hat.

Almost done! Iron your little fold rim to make sure it sits flat and perfect.

With a needle and thread stitch a few stitches over top of each other at each side to hold the rim in place. I managed to make my stitches so small I needed an arrow to show you where they are (that and the fact that my camera seemed to be having trouble focusing!)

And you are done! Since I don't have a newborn model at the moment (here's hoping the stalk will bring one soon!) James' teddy has offered to do the job - although he wasn't too happy about wearing pink....

I plan to embellish my little hat with a fabric flower (stay tuned for the tutorial!). You could also do a nice button (making sure its sewn on nice and tight so little hands don't pull it off) or sew some ric-rac around it... the possibilities are all there for you to imagine!

Enjoy!

Easy Maxi Dress Tutorial

My dear friend and neighbour, Karina, turned 30 today! She is an amazing woman who I love dearly.

Karina is also 29 weeks pregnant with her first child. She is naturally cute and petite and so she absolutely looks stunning with a bump! I wanted to give her a gift that would be practical and celebrate this stage in her life but also be just for her and not for baby (I'm throwing her a baby shower in 3 weeks anyway when I get to bring out all the cutesy baby stuff!) As her bump continues to grow, so does the need for clothes that fit - and coming into the beautiful Spring weather we have been having, she needs some cooler clothes. Ta-da! I'll make her a dress!

I found this wonderful tutorial over at bored and crafty and knew it would look great with a bump for an accessory!

So without further ado - here she is!

I hadn't yet hemmed the dress at this stage and I decided not to make the rosettes.

As you can see she is totally rocking the bump!

As Karina prefers halter-neck style straps, I have just not criss-crossed the straps at the back.


My Tips:

1. Unless you are making this dress for a 5 foot, size 6 person (measured on Karina under the bust so excluding the belly), make sure you buy more than 2.5m of material. 112cm width material is ok for size 6-8 but anybody in sizes above that really should aim for at least 140cm width. Also - if you are taller than 5feet - go for at least 3m of material.
2. I made Karina's dress cinch in just under the breast in order to make it flattering for her bump. However the pattern suggests to make it at the natural waistline. Choose whichever style you prefer :) 
3. Use a safety pin to turn your strap through to the other side and make sure you fold your strap in half and iron it before sewing. Do this also with the elastic casing... 
4. Karina's measurement under the bust was 75cm. I made her width at the bottom of the dress 2m. It worked out to be a good proportion. 
5. I used a non-stretch cotton but this would work really well with a knit fabric. I plan to attempt one for myself once I conquer my fear of sewing with knit...
6. Another great idea for this dress which seems to be all the rage right now is to have a slip dress as the lining and then a longer, see-through chiffon or similar fabric for the top layer. Simply cut your lining shorter (at the moment the "in thing" is to have it just above your knees) and once you have sewn the lining pieces together attach them to the top of the dress just below the neck casing. I'm sooo going to try this!

Hope you enjoy making this fantastic versatile dress!