Friday, December 27, 2013

The posts that will anger the feminists

I have long admired the fashion and values of 1950's society. The gorgeous full-skirted dresses. The hairstyles. The homely values.

These next few posts will probably anger the feminists out there. I don't apologise either. These are my thoughts and my values. If you don't agree that's fine and I don't expect everyone to subscribe to my ideas either. Just saying.

I once went to a bridal shower that had the "Good Wife's Guide" from the May 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly. It was read out as a joke suggesting that this advice was the last thing the bride-to-be should do as a wife. I laughed along quietly but when I went back and had a good look at what the advice said - I must admit I kinda agreed with most of it.

Now I am not a perfect wife. Heck nowhere even close! I don't follow these things completely and don't manage to stick to these values very often. I do look to them though as a guide and think that it is a way I choose to be as a wife. My husband is not demanding this of me and would never ask it of me. It is a personal choice of way of life that I am attempting to use to guide my life.

I am going to start a new blog series - 50s Fridays Series. Over the next few posts each week I will address each of the points in the guide and offer my thoughts about them and where I agree and disagree. I hope to then continue the series with 50's living tips, advice, fashion and hairstyles.

I want to bring more of these values back into my home. I think there is some cross over with the Proverbs 31 wife of the Bible as well.

So without further ado, I give you the Good Wife's Guide...

1.Have dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
2.Prepare yourself.
Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
3.Clear away clutter.
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
4.Prepare the children.
Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
5.Minimise all noise.
At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
6.Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
7.Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
8.Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.
9.Your goal.
Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
10.Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone though that day.
11.Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.

Welcome to the 50s Fridays Series!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


We have had a couple of cycles now without taking fertility medication. I would say months but my cycles are longer than that! Last one was 7.5 weeks! sigh...

We wanted to give my body a chance to recover and be drug/hormone free after we miscarried baby #2. It does worry me occasionally that I am taking medication designed for women with breast cancer!

As you may remember, our fertility specialist wanted us to go to daily injections as our next step. We talked and talked about it and in the end I just am not ready for that step yet. It is costly (although not as much as an In Utero Insemination - IUI - or In Vitro Fertilisation - IVF). It also means taking regular trips up to the city to Hollywood Private Hospital here in Perth for testing and more injections. Nick would also have to undergo further testing.

So my Doctor decided that there was one more drug we could try before that step. It's called Tamoxifen. I take the tablets in a similar way to the Clomoid except twice a day - days 2-6. It works out to be 20mg a day. I have now finished taking the first course of medication and am very happy to say that I had NO SIDE EFFECTS!!! Wow! This is huge for me considering I ended up so sick with the Clomoid - especially that last round where I was on double dose.

I am also thrilled to report that I have now lost 12kg! What started as weight loss due to being so sick with the Clomoid and during the early pregnancy before the miscarriage (and lets face it - the 3-4 weeks afterwards that it took for my hormones to get back to non-pregnant levels), has continued and I am only 4kg now away from my goal! I had a goal of 16kg to lose. I am also excited that I am only 2kg away from being a BMI of 25! This is the recommended weight range for someone my age and height. Losing 4kg will put me in the middle of the recommended weight range.

I have managed to do this largely to eating smaller meals and eating healthier foods. When I say smaller meals, I don't mean starving myself! I realised while I was sick that my body didn't need to eat as much as I had been eating at meal times in order to be satisfied. I think I had been overeating by eating a large meal instead of having the smaller portions recommended. Now I eat about 1/2 - 2/3rds of the size meal I used to eat. It's still a decent sized meal and I find if I try to eat more I actually start to feel ill from overeating. I'm guessing perhaps my stomach has shrunken back to it's normal size from being stretched by larger meals? I have no idea if this is biologically correct but that's what it feels like :)

It has definitely been helpful to have our Thermomix. I have to give it a shout out - we are just eating so much more healthily than before. I cook from scratch making my own pasta sauces etc so we don't have the preservatives and other bad bits. It takes me as much time (or often less) as it would using a pre-packaged sauce/packet to cook and also uses all fresh ingredients which makes it taste just so much better! I'm so pleased to be able to get more fruit and vege's into James as well.

One final thing to note. I am feeling good. I mean REALLY good. Leading up to our miscarriage and dating back years now that I think about it, I was feeling so stressed, run down, depressed and anxious. All this fertility stuff really does impact your whole life. Since losing baby #2 (yet to be named) I have really focused on 3 things which have made all the difference in my life as so many of you have mentioned that you can see the difference.

  1. Spending more time with God. Reading my Bible if not every day then very close. Praying. Meditating on His Word. I feel refreshed in my spirit and soul. It's truly been like living water to a thirsty person. I am so thankful that what started out as something I really needed to encourage myself to do is now becoming something I really look forward to and can't wait. I am getting such a hunger to read more of God's Word, even though I am working my way through from start to finish as part of a 30 by 30 goal and am currently in the "boring" books such as Leviticus and Numbers.
  2. Gratitude. Thankfulness. Appreciation. I have been thinking about these things so often and most often in relation to Nick and James. I am so thankful to have a loving husband who cares for me, loves me unconditionally, looks after me when I'm sick, is romantic and passionate, loves our son to bits and will do anything for our family including working so so hard so I can stay at home with our boy these last few months before he starts school. I am so thankful for our amazing son James who has finally come out of the grumpy, angry, frustrated 4 year old stage where we were having mammoth tantrums 2-6 times a day and is the most caring, considerate, quick to say sorry and apologise for his behaviour, funny, energetic, compassionate, playful and just so huggable! Gratitude. Being thankful for what I do have and looking forward to the future.
  3. Getting healthy. In body and mind. Spending time relaxing when I am worn out rather than piling more things on my plate. Eating better. Trying to be more active with James. Taking more care in the way I dress and look. Going to sleep earlier. Keeping house better.
I look forward to seeing if we will have a baby to announce at New Years!

100 Books - 30 by 30 list

  1. The Hunger games - Suzanne Collins
  2. Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins
  3. Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins
  4. Divergent - Veronica Roth
  5. Insurgent - Veronica Roth
  6. Allegiant - Veronica Roth
  7. The Fault in our Stars - John Green
  8. The Constant Princess - Phillipa Gregory
  9. City of Bones - Cassandra Clare
  10. City of Ashes - Cassandra Clare
  11. City of Glass - Cassandra Clare
  12. Cross Stitch (Outlander) - Diana Gabaldon
  13. Dragonfly in Amber - Diana Gabaldon
  14. Voyager - Diana Gabaldon
  15. Drums of Autumn - Diana Gabaldon
  16. Let's Stand Up Straight - Bruce and Nellie Litchfield
  17. The Fiery Cross - Diana Gabaldon
  18. A Breath of Snow and Ashes - Diana Gabaldon
  19. An Echo in the Bone - Diana Gabaldon
  20. Written in my own heart's blood - Diana Gabaldon
  21. City of Fallen Angels - Cassandra Clare
  22. A Game of Thrones - George R. R. Martin
  23. A Clash of Kings - George R. R. Martin
  24. A Storm of Swords - George R. R. Martin
  25. Four: A Divergent Collection - Veronica Roth

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Our family trip to New Zealand 2013

We have just returned home from a trip to New Zealand to celebrate two family weddings. My sister Katrina married Richard and Nick's brother Sam married Sam (yes you read that right!)

Our trip was loads of fun and good times. We had delays on EVERY form of public transport we used (count 4 planes and two boat rides!) but we can look back on those times with laughs now that we aren't sitting in an airplane for 3.5 hours longer than we should have!
Tired travellers
Marlborough Sounds on the ferry boat
Visiting Christchurch for the first time since the Earthquakes
We got to catch up with our great friends Bruce and Treena along with their boys Ben and William. We also had a lovely BBQ at their house and caught up with friends living in Christchurch.
We got to visit Nick's cousin Stacey and James loved playing with all the toys at her house!
Spending time with my Grandparents was great and I'm so excited they are moving here to Perth this month!
Then it was time for the first wedding! We got dressed up for my sister Katrina and her husband Richard's wedding.
Aren't they a stunning couple!!
We spent some more time in Blenheim and headed to the Aquarium in nearby Picton that Nick worked at when we lived there. We got to pet Tuatara!! A very rare priviledge!
Then it was back on the boat and off to Levin for the second wedding...
We got all dressed up vintage style for Nick's brother Sam's wedding to his wife... SAM! Nick was a groomsman.
James was the page boy :)
James and I at the reception - SOMEONE ate the lollies from 4 people's lolly box placecards...
James danced the night away with his 'princess' - new Aunty Sam!
The new Mr and Mrs Sam and Sam Dight!
My new sister :)
It was so so good to spend time with Nick's parents while in New Zealand. James misses his Nana and Grandad. Hopefully they will get to visit in 2014!

The Constant Princess - Book Review

This is the first of six books by Phillipa Gregory written about the life of the wives and daughters of King Henry VIII. Here we look into the life of Katherine of Aragon - Henry's first wife.

I am not sure and have not researched the historical accuracy about these books but I found this insight into the life of Katherine and what she experienced to be really interesting. I did not know that she was first married to Henry's older brother who died of an illness when they had only been married a few months. I also did not know that she then was forced to wait years in difficult circumstances before being given to the younger brother Henry in marriage. This book covers from her childhood through her first marriage to Prince Arthur, her time in waiting (a constant princess) and through her marriage to Henry and subsequent miscarriages, births and deaths of their children. What a life this woman had! The novel really made you feel for her pain.