Friday, January 3, 2014

The Good Wife Guide - Part One

Today I will address the first point of the Good Wife Guide.

1. Have Dinner ready.
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

My husband is ALWAYS hungry when he gets home from work. He travels just over an hour each way to work everyday and by the time he gets home it is around 6pm. This one just makes sense in our house. If I don't have a meal ready by the time he gets home, we eat much later and our son is tired and cranky and well past hungry. That's the practical side of it. 

I am a stay-at-home Mum and yes most of these things are more suited to someone in my situation. I don't expect it would be an easy thing to do if you worked full time. You may even get home after your husband does. This is where the attitude comes in. Of course you don't have to cook each night. My husband shares the cooking and helps out most nights. Let me put it this way for you:

Imagine. You get home after a busy day and pull into the driveway just as your husband also arrives home. Both of you are tired and have had crazy days at work. Both of you just want to relax and unwind. Your husband turns to you and says "Honey, go and lie down or read some more of that book you are reading. I'll sort dinner out". He won't take no for an answer. You gratefully lie down on your comfortable bed and read your latest novel obsession all the while hearing him potter around the kitchen. He comes in to tell you dinner is ready and you go out to find he has cooked your favourite meal all ready for you, just the way you like it. 

Ok. So what do you feel right now? Are you grateful? Relaxed? Impressed? Feeling full of love and appreciation for your husband? He didn't have to do that for you. It was his choice to put you above himself and give you time out. Take that feeling and realise that this is the gift you can give him when you choose to serve him in this way. 

But what about me you ask? What about my needs? Why should he get let off the hook and I do all the work?

It is this kind of attitude that can be lethal to a marriage. Me, Me, Me, Me. If both partners of a marriage went into it only thinking about themselves, what would that look like? How would that help create an atmosphere of love and selflessness? How will that teach your children to be caring and kind?

You can't do anything about your husband's motives apart from nagging him (unless of course he reads this and takes on board the advice as well). All you can control is yourself and your motives. Who knows, just like it made you feel loved and want to be thankful and reciprocate when you thought of your husband cooking for you like that - maybe your actions doing that will encourage him to be more giving as well.


  1. So very true, giving selflessly to someone can encourage that person to do the same for you. My husband is very giving and over the last almost 9yrs of marriage I have become less mememe and more giving. I know as our marriage continue I will (hopefully) become an even more selfless and giving person. Marriage is not always easy but it can help both of you grow into more caring and selfless people.

  2. Hehe I feel I am going to love reading your 50's series! I even showed my partner this today and his comment was "you already do most of what is on the list, except you talk to much, your always talkign". I had a wee chuckle to myself but then stopped and realised that all the things I do do (not everyday but most) that I thought go unappreciated obviously don't. What I see some days as a chore and a mundane activity he sees as me taking care of our family and has respect for that. So this in turn has prompted me to be more cheerful and welcoming and refreshed instead of dredgy and stressed. Result for today= winning!! Even got some 'intimate' time together before he went to work (works nights) because I was more prepared, dinner was ready (and a joint effort by the whole family) and not rushed and my attitude and manner were different ! Should have tried this a long time ago lol It has also made me realise how much the little things like putting in a little more effort in your appearance, taking pride in your house etc gets put on the way side through simple complacency and getting comfortable. Great blog, looking forward to the next one :D