Friday, February 14, 2014

The Good Wife - Part 4

Welcome to part 4!

7. Listen to him.
You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Ok. First off I will say that I don't agree with the last part of that point - his topics of conversation being more important than yours.

Putting that aside, have you ever come home and been barraged with complaints and quick talk that doesn't let up? Ever think "Gee, just let me get in the door first!"? The moment when your husband gets home should be a moment of greeting and a sigh of relief for both of you. Time to just spend a couple minutes having a kiss and a hug and greeting each other again. Often James will run up to Nick as soon as he walks in the door, jabbering away with quick conversation. Nick will often respond with "just let me put my things away and get changed first buddy". He needs a moment to sort himself out first and not be smothered by information. 

8. Make the evening his.
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.

This point again is one I have contention with. We plan our evenings together with what we are going to do. Whether this be heading out to a Bible study, relaxing at home, or one of us going out to spend time with friends. I believe that both of us need a time out at night time, one of us from work and the other from a day of juggling our son and study. I do not however begrudge Nick a night out or a night of peace - time to himself. It is more often me going out at night to see friends than Nick so if he ever mentions going out I'll happily agree and encourage him in it. We usually prefer to go out to friends places together anyway. I do understand "his real need to be at home and relax" though. Having had 8 hours at work plus a 3 hour round trip to get there and back - Nick needs and deserves a night of peace and relaxation!

9. Your goal.
Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit

You may have guessed already but yes - this IS my goal. I must be the first to admit here that recently our home has been chaotic with me starting study and with house guests. One of the last things it has been is peaceful and tranquil! There are still times of quiet rest and time to renew though. I haven't been the best at creating this in the past couple of weeks and really feel I have dropped the ball on this one. I find I am getting grumpy and short-tempered quickly and it is something I am going to work on. 

Yes - I want to aim for this goal. No - we don't always have it in our house. Yes - sometimes that is because of me, my fault. No - I am not going to try and hide this. Yes - I want to be open and honest so that you understand that these are guidelines, helpful hints, suggestions that will not always be able to be perfectly followed. I don't hold myself to a standard of perfection. Rather I aim to do my best and hope that the shortfalls along the way can become lessons for myself, my family and others. 

I am a real person. A real woman. One who is flawed in many ways but who also aims to be the woman God created me to be. I won't hide from this world and will share my struggles and triumphs equally when it is appropriate. 

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