The Good Wife Guide - Part One

Today I will address the first point of the Good Wife Guide.

1. Have Dinner ready.

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

My husband is ALWAYS hungry when he gets home from work. He travels just over an hour each way to work everyday and by the time he gets home it is around 6pm. This one just makes sense in our house. If I don't have a meal ready by the time he gets home, we eat much later and our son is tired and cranky and well past hungry. That's the practical side of it. 

I am a stay-at-home Mum and yes most of these things are more suited to someone in my situation. I don't expect it would be an easy thing to do if you worked full time. You may even get home after your husband does. This is where the attitude comes in. Of course you don't have to cook each night. My husband shares the cooking and helps out most nights. Let me put it this way for you:

Imagine. You get home after a busy day and pull into the driveway just as your husband also arrives home. Both of you are tired and have had crazy days at work. Both of you just want to relax and unwind. Your husband turns to you and says "Honey, go and lie down or read some more of that book you are reading. I'll sort dinner out". He won't take no for an answer. You gratefully lie down on your comfortable bed and read your latest novel obsession all the while hearing him potter around the kitchen. He comes in to tell you dinner is ready and you go out to find he has cooked your favourite meal all ready for you, just the way you like it. 

Ok. So what do you feel right now? Are you grateful? Relaxed? Impressed? Feeling full of love and appreciation for your husband? He didn't have to do that for you. It was his choice to put you above himself and give you time out. Take that feeling and realise that this is the gift you can give him when you choose to serve him in this way. 

But what about me you ask? What about my needs? Why should he get let off the hook and I do all the work?

It is this kind of attitude that can be lethal to a marriage. Me, Me, Me, Me. If both partners of a marriage went into it only thinking about themselves, what would that look like? How would that help create an atmosphere of love and selflessness? How will that teach your children to be caring and kind?

You can't do anything about your husband's motives apart from nagging him (unless of course he reads this and takes on board the advice as well). All you can control is yourself and your motives. Who knows, just like it made you feel loved and want to be thankful and reciprocate when you thought of your husband cooking for you like that - maybe your actions doing that will encourage him to be more giving as well.

The posts that will anger the feminists

I have long admired the fashion and values of 1950's society. The gorgeous full-skirted dresses. The hairstyles. The homely values.

These next few posts will probably anger the feminists out there. I don't apologise either. These are my thoughts and my values. If you don't agree that's fine and I don't expect everyone to subscribe to my ideas either. Just saying.

I once went to a bridal shower that had the "Good Wife's Guide" from the May 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly. It was read out as a joke suggesting that this advice was the last thing the bride-to-be should do as a wife. I laughed along quietly but when I went back and had a good look at what the advice said - I must admit I kinda agreed with most of it.

Now I am not a perfect wife. Heck nowhere even close! I don't follow these things completely and don't manage to stick to these values very often. I do look to them though as a guide and think that it is a way I choose to be as a wife. My husband is not demanding this of me and would never ask it of me. It is a personal choice of way of life that I am attempting to use to guide my life.

I am going to start a new blog series - 50s Fridays Series. Over the next few posts each week I will address each of the points in the guide and offer my thoughts about them and where I agree and disagree. I hope to then continue the series with 50's living tips, advice, fashion and hairstyles.

I want to bring more of these values back into my home. I think there is some cross over with the Proverbs 31 wife of the Bible as well.

So without further ado, I give you the Good Wife's Guide...

1.Have dinner ready.

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2.Prepare yourself.

Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

3.Clear away clutter.

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the winter months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

4.Prepare the children.

Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5.Minimise all noise.

At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

6.Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

7.Listen to him.

You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the right time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

8.Make the evening his.

Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his real need to be at home and relax.

9.Your goal.

Try to make sure that your home is a place of peace and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

10.Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone though that day.

11.Make him comfortable.

Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or a warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is master of the house and as such, will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.

Welcome to the 50s Fridays Series!

An organised Mum

My mum said something inspirational to me today.

Remember – your house and James are your business – this is your job that God has blessed you with!

My parents with James

I don't know about you but I struggle with housework. I am not the most organised person in the world. So when it comes to making sure I am organised enough to keep my house running smoothly I find myself a bit lost in the jungle of clothes, dishes, toys and clutter.

This statement that my mum made has inspired me to take a different look at the way I think about things. I don't have a full-time job. I am a stay-at-home mum to my darling son James. What if I started organising my days as I would if I was working? If I was being paid to look after my house and my son I would put more effort into it and make sure things got done.

I have made myself a "Daily Do's" checklist of chores to do each day. These are the things that are done every day.

Daily Do's 

Prayer and Bible 

Showered and Dressed 

Load of washing 

Breakfast 

Get meat out for dinner

Make beds 

Tidy bedrooms 

Hang out washing 

Exercise: walk, dancing with James, swimming 

Lunch 

Weekly do's 

Prepare dinner 

Dinner 

Dishes and kitchen tidy 

5 minute clean up with James 

Story's and songs 

James' bedtime 

Sweep house

  

I have also made myself a "Weekly Do's" checklist of chores that need to be done on certain days. I have split the housework up between the 5 working days in order that we can relax and enjoy family time on the weekends when Daddy's home.

Weekly Do's 

Monday

Vacuum

Clean En-suite

Change beds

Write grocery list

Water plants

Master bed, James' windows

Tuesday

Mop floors

Clean laundry

Sweep garage and front porch

Groceries

Organise sewing room

Sewing/guest room windows

Wednesday

Vacuum

Clean out fridge

Clean out car/vacuum

Blog

Water plants

Theatre/kitchen windows

Thursday

Wipe kitchen cupboards

Clean out pantry

Clean oven/stove top

Cut James' nails

Organise bookshelf

Lounge/dining windows

Friday

Vacuum

Clean guest bathroom

Iron

Baking

Water plants

Laundry/bathroom windows

I leave you with one last quote from my smart mother:

Tidy House = Tidy Mind

So here's hoping this works! I'll let you know....

 

Frugal Living Series - #1 Baby Wipes

Welcome to the first of my Frugal Living Series blogs! My weekend blog each week will be a Frugal Living blog which will have tips, pointers and examples of ways to stretch the dollar that little bit further. These days it's important to learn ways to live simply, saving money where we can and doing our bit to help the environment. These tips will hopefully help us do this.

Baby Wipes

In our early days with our son James we used purely water and cotton balls when changing his nappy. James seemed to react to anything else we would try to use on him. However, when he started solids the water and cotton balls just weren't going to cut it! We looked into other options for wipes. We tried normal wipes, sensitive skin wipes, eco wipes (which cost the earth we are trying to save!).... Nothing seemed to work on him or if it did - was way too expensive for our budget with the amount of "number 2's" we were trying to cope with.

I stumbled across a book I brought years ago when I was first married called "Miserly Moms" written by Jonni McCoy. In this book I discovered a fantastic recipe for home-made baby wipes. I tried them out and sure enough - they worked on James with no bad reaction! These wipes are not only friendly on bub's little bottom but they are very economical. They work just as good as leading brands such as Huggies but for a 5th of the price!

2 cups of warm water
1 Tablespoon of baby oil or lotion
2 Tablespoons of baby bath (sensitive if your child is that way inclined)
1 roll of strong paper towels*

*having tried many different types of paper towels since I have been using this recipe I recommend Viva Ultra Strong. They work really well.

Combine the water, baby oil and baby bath to form a liquid. Remove the cardboard tube from the middle of the tube. Stand the paper towels in either an old bowl or perhaps an old ice-cream container. Pour the liquid mixture over the towels, concentrating on the centre and working your way out. Squeeze the towels and pour the remaining mixture back into your cup. Pour mixture over repeatedly until the towels are completely saturated. Squeeze excess liquid out of towels and store them in an a container. I use an old Huggies large wipes box but a Tupperware container or Glad bags with an airtight seal would work just as well.

My estimate is that each set of wipes (i.e. 1 roll) costs approx $1.40.

Baby oil  125ml = $3.50 (20 uses)
Baby bath 1000ml  = $8.00 (60 + uses)
Viva paper towels 3 pack = $4.40 (3 uses)

$1.40 for the same amount of wipes as a large pack of Huggies wipes which cost $5.60 approx. Now thats awesome!

Buy shorts vs make shorts....

What a dilemma. I hate buying shorts. They never fit me right and always end up looking like pants that are too short on my 5 foot frame. So I decided to make some.

I searched the internet looking for tutorials or patterns to teach me how to make my own. I found this amazing design for wrap-around shorts / pants and headed to spotlight in search of material. I decided on a cotton for shorts that looks like denim but is lightweight and nice and cool for summer, and a nice black cotton for long pants. Here are the results of the shorts:

front of shorts (although you can tie them the other way around as well)

back of shorts

And so ends my quest for new shorts. I have been asked to make a few pairs for people and have quoted $25 for shorts and $30 for pants. However - here is the tutorial I made them from for those of you who are handy and would like to make some for yourself!

http://laupre.wordpress.com/2008/06/29/easy-breezy-wrap-pants-tutorial/

Happy sewing!

Thanks - and baking soda

First of all - I want to say thanks to everyone who responded to my post "PND - the pits". It is truly humbling to know that I am not alone and that many of your suffer or know someone who has suffered from this debilitating illness. I urge you to speak up about it and make it known. You can't get help if no-one knows you need it!

While I may occasionally post about my journey, my main purpose of this blog is to write about my creative doings and helpful things I have learnt. And so without further ado - baking soda.

A couple of weeks ago I discovered the amazing, miraculous qualities of this fluffy white stuff. Of course I have used it in my baking and cooking but to really see what this stuff can do - you need to use it in cleaning!

I must admit, I am not the best at cleaning my shower. I tend to leave it and do it "tomorrow" which of course is "only a day away!!!" So when it does come time to clean my shower it can be a little uhh... dirty. I know I know. The shame. The horror! My mother would have a heart attack!

On this one particular day however, I decided that "tomorrow" would be "today" (no Daddy Warbucks in sight, sigh). I began to prepare my cleaning products. I only really ever use one thing to do the whole entire house. I use white vinegar. I had a premonition however that I had best check the internet and make sure you can use vinegar in the shower with tiles and grout. Thank goodness I checked! Note to self: vinegar will make your grout in between your tiles disintegrate! 

What to do, what to do. With no other cleaning agents other than toilet cleaned and James' wet wipes in the house, I decided to research a home-made cleaner for showers. My search led me to discover baking soda! I quickly made up a paste of baking soda and water, gathered an old (actually new but cheap) toothbrush and headed to my bathroom.

Setting to work with James trying to climb in the shower with me and constantly trying to keep him from putting things in the toilet, I soon was amazed by the miracle powers! Do I sound like a commercial yet?

"Try the new, improved baking soda! It's good for the environment, friendly on your hands and works miracles in the bathroom! For those stubborn stains and annoying dark spots - reach for your baking soda and say goodbye to dirt!"

After trying so many different products over the years and just not getting the showers back to how they looked in the beginning, I had finally found my answer to prayer. It is so cheap! It doesn't even require much effort. Just pop some on the end of your old toothbrush and scrub gently on the tile and grout and it cleans like nothing you've ever seen before! I am always out for ways to save money and so instead of spending $5 or more on those bathroom cleaners that don't really ever completely solve the problem, I will just head down to the supermarket and pick up a $1.50 box of baking soda.

And so in the end what can I say. Baking soda is my new best friend.